just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Is Oprah even human
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
