I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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