she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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