I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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