Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
