I want to stick my p in your. b.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
