Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize