so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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