I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
