If i come over, it means nothing
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
