found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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