Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
