he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
