Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
