Nicole vs. Life
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
