Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
