Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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