so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
