I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
