Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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