Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The uberlube is also flammable
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
