You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
