I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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