So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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