Don't you send me to vm
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
