Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
