You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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