I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
