He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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