She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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