We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
