It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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