so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
