Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
