Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
