Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
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