Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
