Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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