i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
