i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
