if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
