Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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