PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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