Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
