this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
