dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
