He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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