dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
