my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
