whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
