I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
