You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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